Journal Entry

This is really for my account because I want to print this blog out at the end of the year for my records. Your welcome to read but most of you already know the details.


Well it has happened again. We have had another miscarriage. I had the feeling that I was pregnant but didn't want to test. I felt like I would be jinxing myself. To be honest I was too scared. A week late I had what I thought was my regular cycle, but couldn't seem to shrug the pregnancy symptoms. This was also the same time that we had been sooooo sick. Especially me. I couldn't seem to get rid of the "stomach flu" or so I thought. Two weeks after I had what I thought was my cycle, I began to bleed again. I just knew in my heart what was going on and called the Dr. She had me go in for the blood work and tests and sure enough I was right. The pregnancy had ended in miscarriage. I was about 5 weeks along. And surprisingly this time I am handling it much better. Maybe because I knew what to expect. I have been upset but not as much. Maybe because my hormones weren't so high this time. I don't know if it is my genes or the hormones coming down but I wish the radio station wouldn't play things that seem to make me cry pregnant or not. I don't know why the radio seems to be the only thing that I can't handle. It makes me cry at the drop of a hat. It can be the oldies station, country, rock, or talk radio. Seriously who cries over the lunch menu and weather updates for the area. ME!!! I promise if I can't see through my tears to pull over.

I finally got my rogham shot after quiet the ordeal to get it. I had been working with the local hospital for all my tests. I had an order to get the shot but apparently they would not accept it anymore from my Dr. because she was out of the county ( I wish they would have told me that before they poked me and had a hard time getting my blood for the order. Only to find out that it was no good and needed to be repeated.) I don't understand why. They did all the other testing for her, and took care of me and my shot last time I miscarried. So I ended up going to Provo to the hospital up there for the shot. 9 hours later I was on my way home exhausted, my arm feeling like a pin cushion from all the past weeks blood work, and my hip burning and hurting. A huge victory for my for those who know how much I HATE needles. Thanks Tamra for riding with me and keeping me calm. I don't think could have made the trip without support. Thanks to everyone who helped with the boys.


It has been three weeks and I am feeling back to normal. Thanks to everyone who called, wrote messages, babysat, cleaned my house, and offered support. From here we will just have to see what the Lord has in store for us. I am hoping I have learned the lesson he thinks I need to learn this time around and we don't have to do this again.